The bride price is a carrier of warmth in traditional Chinese wedding customs. It carries blessings for the couple and respect for the woman's family. It is a etiquette rather than a transaction. However, I don’t know since when, this warmth has been distorted by the wind of comparison and alienated by the desire for utilitarianism. In some places, betrothal gifts have changed from "reciprocity" to "clearly marked prices", and from "blessing the newlyweds" to "family games". All kinds of realistic pressures discourage young people who truly love each other, causing ordinary families to become poor or return to poverty due to marriage. What's more, alienating marriage into a naked money transaction will eventually tear apart families, intensify conflicts, and become a difficult problem in social governance.
The reason why this video has received so much attention is precisely because at a time when sky-high betrothal gifts have repeatedly become a social pain point and some marriages are hijacked by money, this father used the simplest actions to set an example for changing customs. He chose to return the bride price, of course, not because he did not value his daughter's marriage, but because he hoped to relieve the burden and pave the way for the small family. What's even more touching is that the young couple, especially the groom, understand the good intentions of their parents and promise to use the money to manage their marriage and family well. I believe that the mutual understanding and unity of the two families will definitely make the future more prosperous, which is far more precious than money.
Of course, controlling sky-high betrothal gifts and promoting the reform of marriage customs have never been just a choice for one person or a family, but a common issue for the whole society. In recent years, the Central Government’s No. 1 document has named and rectified high-value bride gifts in rural areas for many consecutive years. The No. 1 central government document in 2026 once again proposed to continue to rectify high betrothal gifts in rural areas, strengthen joint management of inter-provincial adjacent areas; guide the establishment of correct views on marriage, love, childbirth, and family, and cultivate a simple and civilized marriage custom culture. At the same time, many places have also introduced village rules and regulations to curb the tendency of comparison and advocate zero and low betrothal gifts. A series of measures are cooling down the temperature of betrothal gifts and heating up new trends, and the results of the reform of wedding customs are gradually showing.
But we must also clearly realize that the formation of high betrothal gifts has complex social soil. It not only stems from the comparison mentality in the traditional concept that "the higher the betrothal gift, the more respect you will have", but is also subject to the structural contradiction of the unbalanced male-to-female ratio in rural areas. It also reflects the practical anxiety of some families who hope to seek "marriage security" for their daughters through betrothal gifts. This shows that the management of sky-high betrothal gifts relies on both the rigid constraints of policies and the flexible guidance of ideas; it relies on the continuous improvement of the system and the infiltration of family traditions; it relies on both the active promotion of the government and the conscious participation of the masses.
Specifically, on the one hand, we must continue to strengthen guidance through village regulations, red and white councils and other vehicles, and introduce more incentive measures for "zero-betrothal families" to make civilized marriages honorable and beneficial; on the other hand, we must also severely crack down on chaos such as marriage trusts and marriage fraud in accordance with the law, further clarify the standards for the return of betrothal gifts through judicial channels, and maintain the bottom line of fairness with the rigidity of the rule of law. Looking at a deeper level, the fundamental solution to changing customs is to better protect women's rights and interests, especially to create a fairer employment and development environment for marriageable women. Only when women no longer need to obtain the so-called "security" through high betrothal gifts, can marriage truly get rid of the burden of money and return to the true nature of emotion.
We hope that with the joint efforts of the whole society, the betrothal gifts can return to the true nature of "rituals", marriages can start from the original intention of "love", and every young person can go into battle lightly and embrace the pure and practical happiness. Just as the father in the video hopes: There is nothing more worthy of our protection than two young people living happily together.
